Being social as a person with a visual impairment is completely possible. Like many things, acquiring friends and a lover will most likely be done in a slightly different way. There are two main challenges that I think visually impaired people face and they are:
1. The visual impairment is an obvious disability; it can not be hidden and one can not fake being a sighted person.
2. As a student majoring in Public Relations, I can tell you that 80% of communication is nonverbal. This is based on the theories of communication. If you don't believe me, head to the closest university book store and buy a Communication Theories textbook.
Unfortunately, many people in our society view an outward and obvious disability as something to avoid, because "it is not the same as everybody else." I hate to break it to everybody in the world, but we all have some kind of disability. Some, like a visual impairment are obvious; while others are less discrete. The important thing to remember here is we are all on this earth together; we mine as well all get along. As a university student I have found ways to make up for "being different." The first thing I try to do is relax. It's important to be confident in yourself and who you are. If you can't be confident in yourself, how do you expect somebody else to be confident in interacting with you? During lectures and class group work it's helpful to have a pretty good understanding of the material. If you, the visually impaired person have something to offer the class, people will tend to show more interest in you.
Let me give an example:
I'm taking a research methods class. One of the assignments was to create a set of survey questions beforehand and bring them to class. During class the students, including myself were told to form groups of three and work together on the questions. The two people I was working with needed some pointers. Because I had invested a little extra time in the homework I was able to explain the assignment to them. I went from the awkward visually impaired guy to the student in the group who was able to provide some suggestions to my classmates. By the end of class, the three of us were having a great conversation. People love to be offered something, and if you as a visually impaired person can do that, I think the whole fear factor that surrounds the visual impairment will be significantly reduced. People will learn that you are just like them, that you are intelligent and that you can contribute to society.
If you are sighted, you most likely use nonverbal communication in a variety of social settings. Head nodding, facial expressions and eye contact are very important factors in the world of face-to-face communication. Just for fun, try to interact with somebody (maybe a person you know, or not) without looking at the nonverbal communication they are sending you. That should give you a snapshot of what it's like to achieve good communication as a visually impaired person. I have learned to be a little more bold in my communication. I know that I can't make eye contact with somebody a crossed a room or respond appropriately to a facial expression. Instead I generally take the firs step in communicating with others. A lot of people have a hard time with this, but believe me, it gets easier. Instead of focusing on the forms of communication that I can not accurately send or receive, I focus on what I have. I've met a lot of people in my life, and I've learned how to use voice inflection, speech and even body posture to make up for the lack of nonverbal communication.
Another method I use is placing myself in common areas where people want to socialize. Enter a room, a lounge or any other common space and stand off to one side slightly. Then, listen to the people, and judge the crowd flow. Are people just passing through the space? Are there a lot of people talking? What's going on? The best places usually involve people who are there because they want to socialize. They are not passing by on their way to a class or a meeting. People are not just hanging out on their laptops and smart phones. Once you as the visually impaired person found a good spot to socialize, pick a spot to sit or stand next to somebody and just say "hello, how are you?" in a calm, cool, collected manner. Remember, be confident in yourself. After doing this just start asking a few context specific questions. If I were at my university I mite ask things like "what's your major? or Did you go to the football game last weekend?" If you find that the person is giving you very simple answers, try using probing questions. No, I don't mean get all personal! Probing questions are like "I've never done/ate/been there; tell me more; what's it like?" People in general like to talk about themselves, and everybody has a story. Speaking of stories, when I am having a conversation with somebody whom I just met, or even a new friend I tend to speak very little about my visual impairment. I'm not ashamed of it, nor do I think it's not important, but simply put it's a subject that a lot of people know nothing about. If I want to have a one-sided conversation about myself that will ultimately end in a diversity session for somebody else I'll just start talking about Braille, screen readers, guide dogs and eye conditions. Believe me, nothing kills off a conversation faster than talking to somebody you just met about a topic they can't contribute to. It's okay to answer a few questions about your visual impairment if they are asked, and it's okay to reference your visual impairment if it has a point other than you just talking about it. Personally, if a person asks fewer questions about my visual impairment and my guide dog, I take that as a good sign. Most of these conversations usually end up in me making a new friend. One could argue that the person who asks fewer questions about my visual impairment is holding back, they are uncomfortable and they don't know what to say about it. I agree to an extent, but that just leaves me the opportunity to promote the message of "I'm just like everybody else, accept I can't see, and that's okay."
The Moral of the Story?
Creating social circles in a society that judges way too much, and holds friends and strangers up to invisible standards as a visually impaired person is challenging. However, it can be done and it is done. Remember that not everybody you talk to is going to accept you for who you are, but that's okay too. At least you can sort out the cool people from the not so cool people. If you are visually impaired don't limit your social connections because people won't talk to you. Instead make an effort to go talk to them. If you are sighted, understand that a visually impaired person who isn't making full eye contact is not being rude; they just can't see. Never the less, they, like anybody else have a story to tell, and it just may be worth it for you to go and talk to them.
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