Many of us have heard that saying "play through the pain." Most of the time this quote refers to athletes and sports teams, however it applies to most of us, including musicians.
At last weekend's marching band performances I found myself facing a decision that nobody wants to face:
"I don't feel good; should I go, or stay in bed?"
Personally this is always a tough question to answer because I'm not a quitter and because I don't like being sick. I also do not enjoy imposing hardships on other people do to my inability to perform.
The night before the performance I had dinner with friends, and we had a great time. I went home, and went to sleep. When I awoke however I could hardly stand and my body was ridding itself of anything that had to do with food or drink (I'll spare you the details). Turns out I had food poisoning, and if you've ever had it, you know that there's nothing you can do until every bit of food is gone from your body.
I laid in bed weighing my options as the sun came up and marching band call time approached. The entire band had been working tirelessly on this week's half time show. My crash cymbal partner and I worked to memorize our parts, which were different from each other, meaning that if I didn't show up my partner would have to play their part alone or attempt to cover two cymbal parts designed for two players. However, I was sick, that was obvious; what to do… I laid in bed for a while longer trying to weigh my options, and then it came to me. The music building is located roughly one half, to three quarters of a mile from my home. If I could walk this distance (it's up hill) and make it to the music building I would play. If I was too weak to walk that far I would turn around and call in sick.
So, with no food/water in my body I set off with my guide dog toward the music building. It was hard, but 20 minutes later I found myself standing upright at the entrance of the music building. One small success. I left Angelina with the dog-sitter, slowly changed into my band uniform and fetched my crash cymbals.
It felt good to be standing outside in the fresh air waiting to march. The band began our usual warm-ups and as I crashed the cymbals I realized that these six-eight pound plates of brass felt like 16-18 pounds of brass today.
I managed to play starving and weak the entire pre-game show as well as the entire football game. I don't know what kept me going. I believe it was my shear willpower, my can-do attitude and my refusal to not let my team down. There was something about the driving, ear piercing, head splitting, rumble of the drum line, and the high energy emulating from the rest of the marching band. It was an all day struggle, as I worked overtime it seemed counting measures, remembering crash cymbal parts, staying in formation and all of the other tasks associated with marching in the band non visually. Still I found myself with just enough energy to get by and I even managed to crack a smile a few times. I love music, love performing and love marching band, and I think this little narrative proves that.
The moral of the story? Sometimes it is imperative to play through the pain; your team is counting on you. No matter how sick one feels or how bad something hurts I believe the best medicine is to do your best, participate as much as possible considering the circumstances and support your team. Looking back I would have felt worse laying in bed all day thinking of the marching band, thinking of the drum line as they accommodated themselves for my absence and thinking of my crash cymbal partner and the effort they would have to extend in order to pull off a great performance. It just goes to show that every person on a team or in a band has an important part; no matter how much playing time you get, or no matter how large or small your musical instrument is. The collective group is always best when everybody is there.
